you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
