I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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