Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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