Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize