Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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