i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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