it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Couch. On fire.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize