the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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