I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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