Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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