3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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