idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
