i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
