So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
