All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You are a genius and a whore.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
