Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
