I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
