Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize