No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
