dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
