ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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