Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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