Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
