nut hugger
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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