If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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