For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
