There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
