Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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