Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize