Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
