I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I love having hate sex.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
