I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
