I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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