What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
