I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
