I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
