He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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