Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
