...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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