Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
