Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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