After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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