meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
