The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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