You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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