theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
