My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
