What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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