Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
