vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He felt like a one man threesome
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
