I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The air was thick with penises
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
