Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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