weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
