She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
