I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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