Just took my morning after pill in the library
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
