I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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