And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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