"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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