i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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